Real Men Don’t Eat Sushi
According to the news, Charlotte, N.C. recently earned the Number 1 spot as “America’s Manliest City.” Charlotte (despite its oh-so-feminine name*) topped the charts in the COMBOS® “America’s Manliest Cities” study – which rated major US metropolitan areas for various “manly” characteristics. Points were added – or subtracted – based on certain criteria. Among other things, points were awarded for the “Concentration of Manly Retail Stores,” including “BBQ and chicken wing restaurants, steak houses [and] sports bars;” as well as for ”Salty Snack Sales.” On the flip side, points were taken away for “Emasculating Criteria,” which included “cafes/coffee shops” and “Sushi restaurants.”
Apparently, Real Men Don’t Eat Sushi.
Ruh-roh! Am I ever glad that Rick’s at the ISSN conference right now – with luck, I won’t have to break the bad news to him before Monday. It kills me to “out” Mr. “True Alpha” himself as a limp-wristed sushi-sucker, but COMBOS® Hath Spoken. Ditto my buddy Will [Brink], who trains SWAT teams for fun and profit. I daresay he’d live off the stuff, if he could.
I’m being sarcastic, of course. You do have to consider the source: COMBOS® ain’t exactly health food. In fact, the products are exactly what you’d expect from a subsidiary of the Mars Corporation. According to the company’s (appropriately rugged-looking) web site, “Combivore Nourishment” consists of gorging on he-man, “hearty” snacks like cheddar/nacho cheese pretzels, pepperoni pizza crackers and zesty salsa tortilla chips.
Indeed, COMBOS® products aren’t just snacks, they’re an integral part of a man’s lifestyle, as the text (boldly) proclaims:
A GUIDE TO COMBIVORE LIVING
Find your inner self. Hint: It’s not at the dinner table.Congratulations on your first step towards the Combivore lifestyle, where hearty snacks are always the right choice. Remember, being a Combivore isn’t about trendy eating or fad foods, it’s a way of life. So grab your favorite cheesy, crunchy treat and say good-bye to an unsatisfied hunger.
Obviously, there’s a link here between consuming cookie-cutter, mass-produced food products and finding your own, unique “inner self,” although I’m having a hard time grasping it.
[Note: At the bottom right-hand corner of the home page, so help me, there's also a teeny-tiny link to Mars' "Healthy Living" site (http://www.marshealthyliving.com/whats-inside ) - better living through Starburst, M & M's and Snickers, doncha know. I honestly have no idea how their PR people sleep at night.]
But seriously, what is it with the association between eating crap food and being a “real man?” I certainly “get” the desire to eat hearty, satisfying food – it’s pretty much a universal trait. The only reason salads and yogurt are perceived as “women’s” food, is because women are under constant pressure to be thin (too thin!), and these items are (often inaccurately) perceived as low-cal choices.
Do some men really fall for this sort of pre-packaged, commercialized “masculinity?” I’d like to believe otherwise, but the persistence of the meme – even as a joke – speaks for itself.
Likewise, Charlotte’s upcoming “Dudefest” celebration features a “chicken wing eating contest.” Personally, I don’t have a problem with random indulgences – and wings certainly qualify… but what the hell is manly about competitive gluttony?
I can think of plenty of women who admire Rick (his fondness for sushi notwithstanding); but I can’t think of any gal who sleeps with a picture of Adam Richman under her pillow.
The irony is that these so-called “masculine” eating habits eventually rob men of their masculinity, in the form of declining testosterone levels and increasing risk of cardiovascular disease (which may include erectile dysfunction as a symptom). This is why James and Rick characterize diets filled with these sorts of faux-manly junk/snack/convenience/fast foods as “The Great American Diet Disaster” in Alpha Male Challenge. The kind of masculinity being peddled by the food industry is actually pretty toxic to men’s minds and bodies.
This is why I’m grateful for the book - it presents guys with a clear and compelling case for eating healthily and taking care of their bodies. There’s nothing “masculine” about being a flabby, self-indulgent, food-and-restaurant industry pawn. In a sane world, Alpha Male Challenge would be grabbing the headlines, not some phony-baloney, candy company “study” cooked up as a publicity stunt.
Charlotte, NC may indeed be “America’s Manliest City” (it is home to the Nascar Hall of Fame and the US National Whitewater Center, after all), but IMHO, the title should based on criteria that include health, fitness and strength, not a preference for salty snacks vs. sushi.
*Charlotte, NC is named after Princess Charlotte of Mecklenberg, who became the Queen of England when she married George III


[...] the heck is John Kass? He’s a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Like me, he was inspired to write a column about that stupid Combos “America’s Manliest [...]
Until I read this, I didn’t even know what Combos were, and I think I was better off not knowing.